How To Deal With People You Wouldn't Touch With a 10 Foot Pole

Make the World a Better Place From Your Fluffy Pillow

Written and drawn by Bill Russo

Science knows of only two states of mind.
Conscious is one and subconscious is two.
But there’s a third and it is easy to find.
By night and day I go there and so can you.

It is a haven where planted is the seed
- the humble and insignificant beginning,
of the idea that becomes a wondrous deed.
From this sprout a true marvel will spring.

This place, at once both ethereal and real,
can be found in the softness of a pillow,
though it exists for barely a single bell peal.
To use it requires skill which practice can grow.

Every human dreams at least one great scheme.
It lives in the alley near asleep and awake.
Capture and consider it as you rise from a dream.
To this seed, Mind Number One will give full shape

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© Bill Russo 2019

Scientists Discover Remains of a Race of Giant Lions

by Bill Russo

When giants roamed the earth, they required a ton of food. Luckily they had lions that were more than seven times as big as the male lion of today (about 400 pounds). 

The proof? Scientists in Kenya have unearthed the jaw bone and other bones of a previously unknown lion species in which the males weighed over 1 and a half tons! That's more than 3000 pounds (1500 Kilograms). 

The new species is being called Simbakubwa kutokaafrika -- Swahili for "big African lion". Imagine 3300 pounds of lion steaks for dinner. 

But to capture such a beast it would take a mountain of a man - and it's said that the ancient giants were up to the job - being 35 feet tall!

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Red Sox Voice Jerry Remy Fined for saying 'Dunkin Donut'

REMY FINED FOR SLIP OF THE TONGUE -  SAYS 'DUNKIN DONUTS'!

BY BILL RUSSO

Boston Red Sox broadcaster and former player, Jerry Remy says he was fined for saying “Dunkin Donuts”.  The New England based donut chain is in the midst of changing its name and focus away from what was for decades its biggest draw – donuts.


Recently the firm, which buys huge amounts of advertising on the Red Sox TV games, announced that the donut drop is official and the company is now known only as “Dunkin”.


The move bewildered many long-time customers and frustrated franchise owners who would have to bear the expenses involved in conversion of signage.


During a telecast on NESN-TV on April 12, 2019 in which the Sox beat the Toronto Blue Jays, Jerry said he got fined because of the slip of the tongue, and added “you can’t say Dunkin Donuts anymore.”


The former Red Sox second baseman may have been kidding about the fine, but it was obvious that it had been made plain to him that he was to say “Dunkin” and to never again refer to the chain as 'Dunkin Donuts'.


The company has been de-emphasizing donuts in recent years in favor of hot sandwiches prepared in store.  The donuts, which originally were freshly baked in each store, are currently made in central locations and trucked to various satellite outlets.


Decades ago Dunkin Donuts baked their product fresh every three hours in every store and every donut that did not sell within that period was unceremoniously tossed into a dumpster behind the building!


It was during this period that the company evolved from a mid-size Boston area chain to the second biggest coffee shop chain in the U.S., trailing only Starbuck’s.


In light of the recent change from Dunkin Donuts to Dunkin, I wonder if Starbucks might also be considering altering its name. In keeping up with the times, Starbucks could rebrand as 
‘Star-Five-Bucks’, because you can’t buy anything there for a ‘buck’. 

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The Worst Tasting Soda in History

Welcome to Adventures in Type and Space

Today's topic is a Guest Blog by a former Sales Representative of an old time soda you may never have heard of.  If you read on you'll understand why you've never heard of it.

Is This the Worst Soft Drink Ever?

Guest Post by Art Miller

 

So, one of the first jobs in my career was beverage salesman for a soft drink company.  This is a great position if you’re selling Coca-cola or Pepsi Cola.  You just go into a super market or convenience store and ask ‘how many cases do you want this week?’

But not so good if you’re trying to sell Moxie Soda, which I was.  ‘Trying to’ is the operative phrase here.  I was trying but nobody was buying. 

Here’s what happened to me at the Main Street Market in Chatterboro, Massachusetts, on my last call of my very first day on the job.

I entered the store and announced, “Hello.  I’m Art Miller your new Moxie salesman.  How many cases can I get you this week?”

“Hello Mr. Art Miller. I’m very happy to see you.  You can get me zero. But I’ll get you two full cases.  That’s how many your last salesman talked me into four months ago and I haven’t sold a single bottle!  Take it back, get out, and don’t come back!”

After all the earlier calls I made, and counting the two return cases, my sales for the day were ‘negative two’.  Following  a solid week of similar rejection, I submitted my resignation to the boss - telling him that

“ Moxie soda has caused the figurative ‘death of a salesman’: yours truly, Arthur Miller.”

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In fairness there actually is a small but dedicated group of people who really do buy Moxie soda, they’re mostly located in New England but the parent company has six bottling locations in the U.S. from Worcester, Massachusetts to Washington State.  

At one time, during the early 1900s, Moxie was a big seller nationwide,  even out-vending the behemoth, Coca Cola.  Flash forward a hundred years; the Moxie market today is confined to a few pockets here and there; mostly in New England where two or three bottles sit on supermarket shelves next to row after row of Pepsi and Coke.

So what does this horrible Moxie stuff taste like?

Here are some random opinions harvested from the internet.

Mr. Shatter: “It tastes like soda – run through the crank case of a car. Rank!”

Amazon Reviewer D. Bradshaw, “This is worst-tasting soda I've ever had. I can't see how anyone could like it, but I guess there is something out there for everyone. I imagine it's what tar tastes like.”

Amazon Reviewer, Cliff:  “It's not bad, but that is all I can say. The smell is of toothpaste or vicks, and the taste at first is spicy with a little sweetness. The aftertaste is the rough part, I am finishing the drink but doubt I'd get again on my own, wouldn't refuse if given. It is definitely different, and I am glad that something like this is still around.

Here’s an excerpt from ‘Weird Soda Review’.  The reviewer bought the soda in Los Angeles:

 “Color: dark brown, just a hint of purple.
Scent: sweet cola, but with a strong herbal note. Maybe licorice? Smells a bit like Dandelion and Burdock soda.

Taste: Whoa. WHOA. What the heck? Is that cough syrup?

OK, here goes. The initial taste is quite sweet, vaguely cola-ish, but sweeter. Right behind that is a secondary sweet taste, with a strong chalky component, and a bit of mint. That part is odd--it reminds me vaguely of the tooth-polishing compound you get at the dentist, or quick-dissolve allergy medicine.

But then it hits you. Right behind that--no more than a second behind--a bitter herbal taste surges up. It's not strong, the sweet is stronger, but it's quite distinct.”

In conclusion, if you happen to be wandering through a store in your town and you spy a bottle of Moxie tucked away in a corner, hiding behind a thousand units of Coke and Pepsi; you may be tempted to try it.

Don’t.

If you do, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Hillary Clinton Is Vice Presdident of the U.S. Under Original E.C. Law

Many supporters of the Electoral College argue that it can't be modified or changed, even though the winner of the popular vote for President has twice recently been denied the office because of the confusing indirect selection of the nation's top leader.

The system has been changed many times since first used to appoint George Washington as the first President in 1789.  The electors met in the Capital of the United States, New York City, and picked Washington for the job. But each elector had two votes, and that's how Clinton could become Vice President.

I'll explain the situation after you get a look at your new VEEP.  You can salute if you wish.

Vice President Clinton

For proof that the Electoral College is not inviolate, consider this:  The first E C in 1879 was not winner take all!  Every elector had two votes.  The candidate getting the most votes became President and the man getting the second highest vote count became Vice President, regardless of party affiliation.


Under the rules of 1789 your current Vice President would be Hillary Clinton!  Actually no - under the original rules women could not vote, let alone serve in an elected position.


There were also no people of color in the original Electoral College and surprise, there were no Americans in it! I meant to say ‘Native Americans’. 


The nation is currently divided on whether to abolish this ancient institution that was born when slavery was legal, women were barely a notch above slaves, and 20 per cent of the work force was made up of children as young as five years old who worked 12 hour days six days a week!


Most polls over the last decade indicate that more than half the voters want to get rid of the Electoral College.  There are good arguments on both sides of the issue.


Whether it is a good thing or not, the E C has given us the likes of Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, FDR, Franklin Pierce, Harry Truman, Richard Nixon and Ike, among others. 


Through more than 40 Presidents over more than 200 years our nation has been a world leader and will remain so: Electoral College or not.

 

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