Red Sox to Replace Kimbrel as Closer?

Red Sox to Replace Kimbrel as Closer?

Opinion: by Bill Russo - Retired Newspaper Editor

 

 In 2007 the Boston Red Sox won the World Series after gathering 96 victories in the regular season.  In 2018 some people are predicting that the 2018 Sox (who are 80-34 as of the morning of 8/8/2018) will probably set a new franchise record for wins. 

Many fans are expecting them to win at least 117 games – which would be one more than the major league record shared by the Cubs who won 116 in 1906 and the Seattle Pilots/Mariners who won 116 in 2001.

I have sad news.  It ain’t gonna happen if Craig Kimbrel has anything to say about it.  Kimbrel is currently Boston’s closer.  He was acquired by the Red Sox three years ago after starring in Atlanta where he routinely saved between 40 and 50 games.

 

On the big stage of Beantown, Kimbrel (also known as ‘The Vulture’ for his odd stance before delivering a pitch) in three seasons counting this one, he has not been able to get past 39 saves.  And in his last five outings he has given up five runs in five innings.  

Thanks to an unbelievable offensive display by the amazing 2018 wrecking crew led by Mookie Betts and J.D. Martinez, Kimbrel’s failures have been turned into victories.  But his ineffectiveness does not bode well for the playoffs.

In 2007, skipper Terry Francona had David Ortiz, Curt Schilling, Manny, and Jason Varitek.  A pretty good crew – but he also had J. D. Drew and a forgettable shortstop called Julio Lugo.

If the 2018 Red Sox were a deck of cards, a close look would find no jokers or deuces, but mostly ‘Aces’ – Sale, Porcello, Mookie, J.D., Jackie Bradley, Andy B., Xander, Raffie Devers, Brock Holt, Mitch, Steve Pierce, and more!

If they were a suit of armor, even a grenade launching RPG couldn’t hurt  them except for that great big dent in that armor – their closer Kimbrel.

Consider this, Johnathan Papelbon in 2007 had one of his typical great Boston years.  His ERA was a miserly 1.85 and he had 37 saves.

Kimbrel’s ERA in Atlanta was incredible.  One year it was 1.01.  But his first year in Boston it was 3.40 runs per game!

As of this date, 8/8/2018 he is in a funk which has included five stinkers in a row.  More than Papelbon probably had in his whole Boston career.

If Kimbrel doesn’t straighten out, BOLD PREDICTION COMING UP, he will be replaced in the post season by either Drew Pomerantz or David Price!

Remember, you read it here first.

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Confessions of a Soda Pop Salesman

Confessions of a Soda Pop Salesman

by Art Miller

So, one of the first jobs in my career was beverage salesman for a soft drink company.  This is a great position if you’re selling Coca-cola or Pepsi Cola.  You just go into a super market or convenience store and ask ‘how many cases do you want this week?’

But not so good if you’re trying to sell Moxie Soda, which I was.  ‘Trying to’ is the operative phrase here.  I was trying but nobody was buying.

Here’s what happened to me at the Main Street Market in Chatterboro, Massachusetts, on my last call of my very first day on the job.

I entered the store and announced, “Hello.  I’m Art Miller your new Moxie salesman.  How many cases can I get you this week?”

“Hello Mr. Art Miller. I’m very happy to see you.  You can get me zero. But I’ll get you two full cases.  That’s how many your last salesman talked me into four months ago and I haven’t sold a single bottle!  Take it back, get out, and don’t come back!”

After all the earlier calls I made, and counting the two return cases, my sales for the day were ‘negative two’.  Following  a solid week of similar rejection, I submitted my resignation to the boss - telling him that

“ Moxie soda has caused the figurative ‘death of a salesman’: yours truly, Arthur Miller.”

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In fairness there actually is a small but dedicated group of people who really do buy Moxie soda, they’re mostly located in New England but the parent company has six bottling locations in the U.S. from Worcester, Massachusetts to Washington State.  

At one time, during the early 1900s, Moxie was a big seller nationwide,  even out-vending the behemoth, Coca Cola.  Flash forward a hundred years; the Moxie market today is confined to a few pockets here and there; mostly in New England where two or three bottles sit on supermarket shelves next to row after row of Pepsi and Coke.

So what does this horrible Moxie stuff taste like?

Here are some random opinions harvested from the internet.

Mr. Shatter: “It tastes like soda – run through the crank case of a car. Rank!”

Amazon Reviewer D. Bradshaw, “This is worst-tasting soda I've ever had. I can't see how anyone could like it, but I guess there is something out there for everyone. I imagine it's what tar tastes like.”

Amazon Reviewer, Cliff:  “It's not bad, but that is all I can say. The smell is of toothpaste or vicks, and the taste at first is spicy with a little sweetness. The aftertaste is the rough part, I am finishing the drink but doubt I'd get again on my own, wouldn't refuse if given. It is definitely different, and I am glad that something like this is still around.

Here’s an excerpt from ‘Weird Soda Review’.  The reviewer bought the soda in Los Angeles:

 “Color: dark brown, just a hint of purple.
Scent: sweet cola, but with a strong herbal note. Maybe licorice? Smells a bit like Dandelion and Burdock soda.

Taste: Whoa. WHOA. What the heck? Is that cough syrup?

OK, here goes. The initial taste is quite sweet, vaguely cola-ish, but sweeter. Right behind that is a secondary sweet taste, with a strong chalky component, and a bit of mint. That part is odd--it reminds me vaguely of the tooth-polishing compound you get at the dentist, or quick-dissolve allergy medicine.

But then it hits you. Right behind that--no more than a second behind--a bitter herbal taste surges up. It's not strong, the sweet is stronger, but it's quite distinct.”

In conclusion, if you happen to be wandering through a store in your town and you spy a bottle of Moxie tucked away in a corner, hiding behind a thousand units of Coke and Pepsi; you may be tempted to try it.

Don’t.

If you do, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Bit Coin Fully Explained in Just Six Words!

First built in 1796 this was the only genuine bit coin.

It still is!

 

Still two bits after all the years and still costs only 25 cents! 

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The Bittterweet Days of August

The Bittersweet Days

by Bill Russo

Bittersweet days are these; those that come in August.

The nights are cool while the days are pleasantly warm.

The bloom of summer is now - but leave soon it must.

The last days are best but are also the door to autumn

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