A New Apple is Coming, Just for Old People......

If Apple had any sense of humor at all, they would take this idea that I am running up the flagpole and go with it.  They would sell about a billion Granny Smiths.  

What's wrong with the Macs?  Nothing really, and Apple has sold a million of them.  But a McIntosh apple can't make up its mind on anything.  It's red and it's green and can't decide which it really wants to be. 

 Granny Smith is tart and purely green, just like a good granny should be.  Decisive and strong, aptly describes a Granny Smith apple and the computer would have the same traits.

Run them off the assembly line Apple ! !! !!!  And put a little tag on them that says, "Age Restricted - No one under the age of 55 may purchase a Granny Smith."

I'm telling you this can be big! !! !!!

And if it is, you're a witness.  It's my idea and I want ten per cent of the wholesale cost of every Granny Smith made.  If I don't get it, I will come up with an even better idea and sell it to Billy Gates or whoever is running Windows these days.  I'm already getting a 'clear' idea for a new Microsoft PC and I even think I can get people to adopt the horrible search engine called "Crosby" that nobody uses.  Dear Apple, if you are reading this, hurry up, I clearly see a "Window" of opportunity for both of us.  Please email me a few hundred thousand as a good faith gesture. 

Thanks,

Your Pal, 

Bill (no Gates) Russo

In the old days...

In the old days...

Still working its way up to the number one spot: Thanks 

readers.


Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #76,347 Paid in Kindle Store




 (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)



 The Creature From the Bridgewater Triangle: 


and Other Odd Tales from New England 


Kindle Edition


#4 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks

I Ain't Black and You Ain't White - by Bill Russo

Why Are You Angry, When It's Me That's Going Deaf

by Bill Russo


Open Letter To Almost Everyone
Who Ever Has Spoken With 
A Person Losing His or Her Hearing:  

Please stop yelling at me just because I am going deaf!

It is an illness and it is not my fault.  It is very embarrassing to have a bunch of people shouting at you.  Hearing aids cost a great deal of money and are not covered by Medicare and other insurances.

They are also not the panacea that folks with good hearing think they are.  Further, many of us have painful conditions going on inside the ear canal that make the use of such devices the next of kin to 'torture'.  

"Why don't you get your ears checked?" is another thing that triggers frustration in the hard of hearing.  Do these people think that we go to our doctor and say, "By the way Doc, I'm losing my hearing so make sure NOT to check my ears!"

A large number of individuals with hearing difficulties can actually hear you fairly well, if they can see you.  By a combination of reading your lips and hearing most of what you say in a normal voice, you can communicate well with most of us.

Screaming at us behind our backs or off to the side where we cannot see you, might be appropriate if we are on railroad tracks and a train is coming, otherwise it is not.  

Booming at us in a stentorian voice and treating us as stubborn children only makes you frustrated and us angry, embarrassed and less likely to want to participate in society.

Frankly, I would rather be left out of a conversation than have you yelling at me.  

"I'm talking to you!  Do you get it!" and other pejoratives that I frequently hear, border on insulting.  

I'm losing my hearing folks, not my I.Q.  

That's my rant for the day.  I will try to be a little more patient with you, if you will do the same.

"DID YOU HEAR ME?  

IF NOT, PUT YOUR EAR RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR DEVICE 

AND I WILL SCREAM INTO IT!!!!"

Homophones are not made by Apple Corporation

by Bill Russo

Note to students, would-be writers, bloggers, face-bookers and others - perhaps even an entire generation which has never had to listen to my fifth grade teacher, Miss Cluff, issue the command, "Write the following sentence on your paper 500 times: .......... (Cape Cod girls don't use combs, they groom their hair with Codfish Bones)."   

If you rite/write, hare/hair, their/there 500 times with a real pen or pencil, you will begin to understand that a HOMOPHONE has nothing to do with Apple Corporation or people's prejudice about the sexuality of others!  Get it rite/right ! !! !!! !!!!

Coming: The Creature From the Bridgewater Triangle Audiobook

     In the roadway through the eerie "High Tees" in Raynham, Massachusetts, at the top of the Bridgewater Triangle; - some 'thing' lurked.  Several minutes after midnight, it hid unseen in thick woods behind a quiet residential street.  A man and his dog were nearly home after a walk along the edge of a feeder pond of  the Hockomock Swamp.

     The silence of the early morning was broken by an eerie call floating through the still air:  "Keer.  Keer!  Ee wan chu!  Keer!"

      A creature from the swamp was summoning the man.  His bulky 80 pound Rotweiller-Shepherd mix was crying in fear: and yet the hairy beast did no more than beckon them with the call, "Keer, Keer,  Ee wan chu.  Chu, Chu.  Ee wan chu."

     And so began Bill Russo's meeting with the Creature From the Bridgewater Triangle.  It is a story that has been told in the award winning documentary, The Bridgewater Triangle, as well as on television in Monsters and Mysteries in America and in the one hour program, "America's Bermuda Triangle".

      The story is also recounted, along with a number of other odd tales, in the book, The Creature From the Bridgewater Triangle, ( http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OEZK8IQ )

     Production is underway now in New York City of the Audiobook version of The Creature From the Bridgewater Triangle. Nationally known voice artist Brad Goldsmith is in charge of the project.

      His voicing of the creature calling to Bill Russo and his dog Samantha, is so stunning, it will have listeners looking over their shoulders making sure they too are not being called by the swamp thing.

     The Audio will be available in the Amazon Store as well as on Audible, and on Apple's I-tunes. It is expected to be completed by November.   Readers of this post are eligible to get a free copy for review purposes by emailing Bill Russo at Billrrrrr@yahoo.com

     The review books are available on a first come first serve basis.

Grandparents Day - Send me a Cigar and a Bottle of Jack

by Bill Russo



September 13 is National Grandparents Day

Send me a good five cent cigar..................

Or send me  a bottle of Jack...............................

 Or send me a  ticket to a Mexican Cantina.......

Or send me Helen Mirren.........

But don't send me flowers!!!!!!   I am way too young to be this old!

Ghostly Gardener Forces People to Abandon Their Flower Boats

Copyright photo by Bill Russo

by Bill Russo





This is a 'Joseph Boat'.

Once there were thousands of these flower boats on

 Cape Cod. 


 Now there are perhaps only one or two left. Is it because a ghostly gardener in a 'peruke' comes once a year on the anniversary of his death, to pick the flowers and scare the townspeple senseless? Find out in Chapter Two of the Creature From the Bridgewater Triangle; in a tale called 'The Joseph Boats, or the Reverend Metcalfe gets Two Wishes'. It's just 99 cents on Amazon and is number 60 in its sales niche.

The Grim Weepers attack Goody Hallett (from the Creature From the Bridgewater Triangle)

Excerpt from Chapter 3

 of the Creature From the

 Bridgewater Triangle:

The Grim Weepers:

They had not far to go nor long to look, for the golden haired lady always made her way to the town dock, where she stood and watched the horizon for the return of dashing Sam Bellamy, the salvage man.

On they marched, at a steady pace. The leaders of the column of more than fifty pairs of armed, rock throwers, stopped as they set their moccasins on the first boards of the pier. A tiny feminine figure was balanced precariously at the very edge of the last boards.

A man stood between the grim stone tossers and the young woman.

“Please, my friends. Do not do this. She is betrothed. She is not a sinner. Sam Bellamy will marry her.” The pleadings came from the gentle, good hearted Innkeeper, Ernest Hallett – Maria’ s father. “Brothers and sisters, I implore you to wait one month more, until Sam……………….”

Mr. Hallett’s words were cut off, when a boy of not more than eleven years ran up to him and with all his youthful might hurled a fist sized rock directly into the father’s nose.

Twenty more of the citizens advanced on Mr. Hallett and likewise jetted their holy stones at him. Bleeding from a hundred painful welts, Mr. Hallett slipped into the ocean and drowned.

Many of the citizens wept, for they had known and loved Hallett. But their duty was clear. The grim weepers advanced next on the tiny form of Maria Hallett.

-0-

Read The Creature for 99 cents on Amazon Kindle.  https://www.amazon.com/Creature-Bridgewater-Triangle-Other-England-ebook/dp/B00OEZK8IQ

The paperback is also available from Amazon for $12.50

Taryn Plumb: The (other) infamous triangle

Taryn Plumb: The (other) infamous triangle: ‘ Bridgewater Triangle’ film cites litany of mysteries By Taryn Plumb|GLOBE CORRESPONDENT MAY 04, 2014 Courtesy of the filmmakers ...

Read the Owners Manual for Jewelry - You Have Nothing to Lose But the Dirt!

Now Available on Amazon Kindle for just 99 cents 

The Lowdown on Jewelry Cleanup
 (The Owner's Manual for fine Jewelry) 

Written by Bill Russo after a decade of cleaning jewelry in fairs, flea markets, and in BJs Wholesale Clubs on the Northeast Coast.

"You will learn 'what to do' to keep your precious gems looking bright and new," says Bill Russo, "but more importantly, this manual shows you what "Not To Do!"

Read this book!  You have nothing to lose but the dirt! 

Banned on Kindle, Read my new Book on Tradebit

After successfully publishing over six
books on Amazon Kindle, I have
had a bit of a scuffle with both the robots and the humans who are running the platform.

I compiled, edited, updated, and annotated 10 stories from the early 1900s.  The tales were all published before 1923.  Virtually page written before that year is in the public domain - meaning a person can use it for any commercial purpose without crediting any person or publisher and without paying any fees.

I submitted the book, which also contains one of my short stories, and it was dragged through a week long inquiry by both human auditors and robot readers.

They ultimately challenged a fascinating 1922 story by Franz Kafka, called the Hunger Artist - about a sideshow performer whose skill was being able to exist in a cage for 30 days without food!  I had proof that the story was public domain, but Amazon refused it.  So I removed it and changed the title from the Ten Best Stories to the Nine Best Stories.  I resubmitted all my information on the authors whose work I had updated.  

Another week dragged by and once again Amazon's readers and robots challenged the public domain status of my work.  They did this despite the fact that they themselves had versions of the works for sale on the Amazon platform.  

Since a soon to be 72 year old man, existing mostly on a small social security repayment, cannot fight a billion dollar corporation, I withdrew my book from submission and instead published it on Tradebit where you can buy it for just $2.99 ( www.tradebit.com ) (The Nine Best short Stories of the 1900s)

Among the stories I collected and freshened up, are two noteworthy yarns by F. Scott Fitzgerald.  One is the first draft of The Great Gatsby.  The other is the original story that inspired the move, The Curious Tale of Benjamin Button, starring Brad Pitt.  It's a funny, bittersweet accounting of a man born old who lives for 72 years, going backwards in age from tottery to an actual tot and finally to a mute infant.  

There are also two Sherlock Holmes yarns, one of which is rare and almost never included in Baker Street collections.  It was written for the Queen on England in a book about the size of a postage stamp.  In fact it was written for the library of the Queen's dollhouse!

The Dollhouse by Katherine Mansfield is another fascinating story in the collection, as is her story titled, "The Fly".  

My contribution to the collection is a narrative that takes the reader back to a time when gambling was both illegal and a sin!  That was before the government realized there was a huge profit to be made, so wageing became legal and not sinful.  It also became less romantic and perhaps more crooked than when it was run by people like the hero of my story - the Colonel.  A short, heavyset man, the Colonel  was one of the last of a dying breed - the neighborhood bookmaker.  He was liked and respected by everyone....with the exception of one renegade police officer who vowed to put the hard working honest bookie in jail.  

A quick reminder that the rest of my work is available on Kindle.  Type in "The Creature from the Bridgewater Triangle" and you will be able to get to my author's page where you can sample everything I've done.  

If you read any of my work and like it - five star reviews are deeply appreciated.  

thanks,  Bill

The Bridgewater Triangle is Coming to National Television in August

The Bridgewater Triangle 
Documentary makes its nationally
televised debut on Saturday, August 15 at ten p.m. on Discovery's Destination America
channel.

The news was announced recently by the film's co-directors, Aaron
Cadieux and Manny Famolare .  

The movie opened around the Halloween season in  2013 in limited release and played to capacity audiences at selected theaters, colleges and film festivals.  Along the way the Cadieux-Famolare team has picked up about a half dozen awards, and many five star reviews. 

The project was the first in depth treatment of a 200 square mile swamp area of Southeastern Massachusetts that has been home to an astounding number of strange and unusual events. 

UFOs twice the size of a 707 were spotted by large numbers of people, including two television reporters.  A local man and his dog met a talking, three foot tall Puckwudgie; ghosts and odd creatures abound in the area.  A well respected police sergeant saw a real life incarnation of the mythical 'Thunder Bird'.  

Many people who visit the area don't see a ghost, a snake as large as a stove pipe, or phantom hitchhikers - but many of them say that they feel something.  Something odd, eerie, and hard to describe.  

The documentary (and other 'triangle merchandise')  may be purchased on Blu Ray and DVD from the Bridgewater Triangle Documentary website.

For 99 cents you can purchase Bill Russo's account of his meeting with the talkative puckwudgie.  He tells that story and others (some real, some not) in this popular book,   "The Creature From the Bridgewater Triangle".  It's in the Amazon Kindle Store.  Click the link to get to Bill's author page - B00OEZK8IQ

Dear Flabby: How can I keep Pests Out of the Garden?

Dear Flabby 

Ask Uncle Flabby anything.  He answers for free.
There is no money back guarantee. 

Advice to the Lovelorn, Forlorn, Timeworn, and Everybody Else

Today's Question:  How do I keep bugs and such out of my vegetable garden?

If growing your own food was easy, everybody would be doing it. The sad truth is that  all your hard work can be eaten up by little foes smaller than your pinky nail. 

The latest trend in human medicine is illness prevention by healthful living and conditions.  So too with your crops.  Strict garden cleanliness will go a long way towards keeping away pests that are bred by lodging places for the breeding of insects.  

Heaps of waste are incubators for garden killers.  A compost pile will do no harm, but unkempt, uncared-for spots do invite trouble. 

People see Uncle Flabby every day or so, out in the garden seeming to mindlessly hoe and rake every furrow in the lot.  It's far from what it seems.  The constant turning of the soil keeps it open to air and water. Sometimes it brings to the surface, pests that will be eliminated by birds.  The constant stirring up of the soil by earthworms is also an aid in keeping the soil open to moisture and fresh air.

 Many of our common birds feed upon insects. The sparrows, robins, chickadees, and orioles are all examples of birds who help in this way. 

Some insects feed on other and harmful insects. Some kinds of ladybugs do this good deed.  And toads are wonders in the number of insects they can consume at one meal. The toad might look ugly but he or she is a noble warrior and ally in your battle to grow the best fruit and veggies.  

Uncle Flabby advises  that all gardeners should try to make her or his garden into a place attractive to birds and toads. A good birdhouse, grain sprinkled about in early spring, a water-place, are invitations for birds to stay a while in your garden.

Put a 'Toad Abode' in your plot.  During a hot summer day a toad likes to rest in the shade. By night he is ready to go forth to eat. How can you make a Toad Abode? Well, one thing to do is to prepare a retreat, quiet, dark and damp. A few stones of some size underneath the shade of a shrub with perhaps a carpeting of damp leaves, would be better than a Holiday Inn to a toad. 

There are two general classes of insects known by the way they do their work. One kind gnaws at the plant really taking pieces of it into its system. This kind of insect has a mouth fitted to do this work. Grasshoppers and caterpillars are of this sort. 

The other kind sucks the juices from a plant. This, in some ways, is the worst sort. Plant lice belong here, as do mosquitoes, which prey on us. All the scale insects fasten themselves on plants, and suck out the life of the plants. 

Now can we fight these rats of the insect world? In most cases poisons and such should be avoided. But if you have to, these gnawing little punks may be caught with poison sprayed upon plants, which they take into their bodies when they chomp on the plants.

Sometimes we are much troubled with underground insects at work. You have seen a garden covered with ant hills. Here is a remedy, but one of which you must be careful. 

This question is constantly being asked, 'How can I tell what insect is doing the destructive work?' Well, you can tell partly by the work done, and partly by seeing the insect itself. This latter thing is not always so easy to accomplish. Your writer, Uncle Flabby,  had cutworms one season and never saw one. I saw only the work done. If stalks of tender plants are cut clean off be pretty sure the cutworm is abroad. What does he look like? Well, that is a hard question because his family is a large one. Should you see sometime a grayish striped caterpillar, you may know it is a cutworm. But because of its habit of resting in the ground during the day and working by night, it is difficult to catch sight of one. The cutworm is around early in the season ready to cut the flower stalks of the hyacinths. When the peas come on a bit later, he is ready for them. A very good way to block him off is to put paper collars, or tin ones, about the plants. These collars should be about an inch away from the plant. 

Of course, plant lice are more common. Those we see are often green in color. But they may be red, yellow or brown. Lice are easy enough to find since they are always clinging to their host. As sucking insects they have to cling close to a plant for food, and one is pretty sure to find them. But the biting insects do their work, and then go hide. That makes them much more difficult to deal with. 

Rose slugs do great damage to the rose bushes. They eat out the body of the leaves, so that just the veining is left. They are soft-bodied, green above and yellow below.  

A beetle, the striped beetle, attacks young melons and squash leaves. It eats the leaf by riddling out holes in it. This beetle, as its name implies, is striped. The back is black with yellow stripes running lengthwise.  

Then there are the slugs, which are garden pests. The slug will devour almost any garden plant, whether it be a flower or a vegetable. They lay lots of eggs in old rubbish heaps. Do you see the good of cleaning up rubbish? The slugs do more harm in the garden than almost any other single insect pest. 

Beside these most common of pests, pests which attack many kinds of plants, there are special pests for special plants. Discouraging, is it not? Beans have pests of their own; so have potatoes and cabbages. In fact, the vegetable garden has many inhabitants. In the flower garden lice are very bothersome, the cutworm and the slug have a good time there, too, and ants often get very numerous as the season advances.

A common pest in the vegetable garden is the tomato worm. This is a large yellowish or greenish striped worm. Its work is to eat into the young fruit. 

Tend to your garden everyday.  Water your plot just as the sun is going down.  Tomatoes love water.  Give them plenty every day at twilight.  

Good luck and happy vegetable plucking and picking 
from your
Uncle Flabby.

High Seas Adventures and Killer Catfish!

Recent Reviews of Jimmy Catfish - click the link to find Jimmy

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XH8XY9Q

5

By Jeremy Gibbson July 11, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

This is a very interesting read of an old town hosting one of the most unusual and captivating stories! If you want a good bedtime read that can send you off to sleep with grand tales sweeping through your mind, this is it! It's beautifully written. The descriptions of the town and it's people is so true to life that you'd be able to easily picture the story as though it were a movie in your mind. You'll be on an adventure literally from beginning to end!

By John Johnsonon July 9, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

A real adventure! I was really impressed by the plot and the development of the characters. The author's style of writing is very easy to comprehend. The book really leaves you wondering on what is going to happen next. I personally found the captain character as my absolute favorite! Check this book out for a very interesting read.

At the Edge of the Hockomock Swamp

Bill Russo lived at the edge of the 
Hockomock Swamp for years 
without knowing that there were 
strange creatures in it, until he 
met one.  While on a midnight walk, a hairy, potbellied 
Puckwudgie beckoned to him. "Keer. Keer!  KEER!" it said.

Bill and his encounter have been featured on Discovery Channel's Monsters and Mysteries in America as well as in theaward winning documentary, "The Bridgewater Triangle".

Here's a recent FIVE STAR REVIEW:This collection of short 
stories from New England, more specifically Massachusetts, is a delightful read. I’m partial to New England having visited family there for much of my childhood. This book evoked the memories of the quirky people living there and the 
storytelling tradition of the area.

Not only are there some interesting tales from and about the history of Massachusetts as well as the Cape Cod area, but the author also provides helpful travel tips should you find
yourself visiting the area. This is the region where our country basically began. Everyone should learn about
its history and this book is an entertaining way to begin that journey.

50,000 Europeans Slaughter 5,000 Native Americans and they Call it a WAR

Yellow Feather/Massasoit:  Plymouth, Massachusetts

395 years ago, the Cape Cod Wampanoags drove the 

invading Europeans from their island, forcing the foreigners 

into an area now called Plymouth, Massachusetts - where a 

related group of of Native Americans led by 

Yellow Feather/Massasoit gave them succor.



After Massasoit's death,

the 'Pilgrims' killed off most of the tribe in the 

misnamed 'King Phillip' War. It was 50,000 well armed

Europeans against 5,000 Wampanoags. It was a slaughter,

not a war. Hence the curse of King Phillip, which may be 

the reason for the haunted Bridgewater Triangle. Read 

about the curse and the triangle in The Creature From the 

Bridgewater Triangle on Amazon Kindle.

The Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Bingo is Open For the Season ! ! ! ! !

by Bill Russo 

Here's a song I wrote song about a church on Cape Cod that's only open in the 

Summer for the tourists. As a church  that is; but it's open 52 weeks a year for Friday 

Night Bingo.I call the church: "Our Lady of Perpetual Bingo". And I named the 

song: "The Church of Friday Night Bingo".

Here are the lyrics. It will be my second hit song, right after my first song becomes a hit.

Chorus:

Come along to the Church of Friday night Bingo

You Can play two or three cards or just a single

It's the place where all the Cape Cod folks mingle

when they want to win a pile of Friday Night jingle

Most of the time, Bingo is the Activity

At five thirty we drop the first ball,

& the numbers we start to call.

Be early, there's always a race 

for the very last parking space.

Come inside get a stamp
and a bright red dauber too.
Buy a charm for your table
and good luck will be with you.

(Chorus)

The balls from a fancy metal bin
drop down, and we call the numbers
with a prayer that you always win 
and are truly thankful for your gain.

Beware of God????????????

The cards are never stacked and 

games are honest in these halls.

Our numbers always come out true. 

Remember, these are the lord's balls.

(Chorus)

it will be very nice if you win
this Friday night . And really great
if you come back on Sunday
when we pass the plate.

The Church of Friday night Bingo
could use the cash, is the reason.
But don't come after Labor Day -
cause we're closed for the season!

YIPPEE! Stephen King Just Recommended Me ! ! ! ! ! !

by Bill Russo


HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Noted Portland, Maine writer 

Stephen King of "Cujo" fame, just put me on the list of 96 

authors he 

recommends for young writers. Thank you Mr. King. I loved

 "Thinner". He must have read my new book on "How to be 

the Next King of All Media." The only problem is he spelled 

my first name wrong. It's Bill Russo.....not Richard. Please 

Mr. King

make the correction as soon as you can.

 Thanks,

Your Pal, Bill (not Richard) Russo 

Available on Amazon Kindle &  elsewhere
for just 99 cents.

Dear Flabby - Advice to the Lovelorn, Forlorn, Timeworn and Everybody Else

Ask Uncle Flabby anything.  He answers for free.
There is no money back guarantee. 

The question posed today to Dear Flabby is:  "How do I tell her that we are going to break up?"

Uncle Flabby's answer:

"If your relationship has been having troubles and you just can’t seem to get over them, there comes a point when it seems like your only option is to break up and try to start over or just simply go your separate ways.

In these times, you want to show your partner that no matter what is happening, you still love them and you still want to make things work if you can.

• Be honest about your feelings – True love comes from being truthful about what you need and responding to their needs.

• Set aside time to talk with your partner about things that are
happening – Give your undivided attention to your partner in order to show them that you’re willing to work on things if you decide to not break up.

• Let them know how you feel about them – Be sure to let your partner know how you feel about them and why you want to stay with them.

• If you’re the one at fault for troubles – Make a plan as to the things you will do differently in order to restart and rejuvenate the
relationship.

• Write them a note about the things that you will miss if you do break up.  Sometimes you can’t save a relationship, but letting them know that you love them might be the thing that turns a doomed relationship into one that can start again."

 Uncle Flabby's final  thought is:

"I used to watch a lot of Charlie Chan movies.  Charlie was supposed to be Asian (Oriental was the term used back in the 1940s when the films were made) and I always thought it was odd that Charlie Chan was played by North Americans or Europeans who had a horrible fake 'Oriental' accent.

But I  liked it when Charlie would break into a 'Confucius Say' moment. 

Charlie (speaking to Number One son) would say something like "Little Chan will understand better when he is older.  Confucius say, 'Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.'

Of course he did not speak of this blog, but if he did,  Confucius (would probably) Say - 'Man who get advice for free should keep in mind that he will probably get exactly what he paid.'

This guest post is from the book, 101 "Amazing Ways to Say, I Love You".