Sex and Drugs coming to the the Corner Store?

By Bill Russo

It all started with the humble Numbers Runner

Back in our nation's salad days of the 1950s - except for foreign territories like Las Vegas - there was no legalized gambling. There were of course, bookies and numbers men. The 'daily number' was a harmless bit of fun procured for a dollar from the local numbers runner. Based on the newspaper's published treasury balance, the bettor picked four numbers, such as 2763, and if they matched the number published in the paper, the lucky winner would get five hundred bucks cash money. No taxes, no forms to fill out, no strings. It was easy.

Then the government stepped in and decided to take over the numbers racket - so they forced the independent businessman out and put the numbers back where they really always had been--the corner grocery store. But this time, the authorities were getting their cut.

You walk in to a 7-11 and buy a gallon of milk and two lottery tickets.

Soon you will be able to buy ANYTHING in the corner store

Gambling was considered a weakness and a sin until the government took it over. Now it's merely a monetary unit based tax system. Using that rationale, the politicians may decide to take over prostitution. It will be legal and taxed.

You will walk into a 7-11 and buy one gallon of milk, two lottery tickets and one hooker. The clerk will say, "is that prostitute for here or to go?"

Don't worry. It's fine. As soon as the government takes over prostitution, it won't be a sin anymore!

After bringing the ladies of the evening into the fold, the pols can nationalize medicine and put all the doctors' offices in the 7-11 stores.

You will walk into a 7-11 and say, "one gallon of milk, two lottery tickets, a hooker, and one doctor's visit please."

The clerk will ask, "Would you like the doctor's visit before or after the prostitute?"

The next big thing the government will take over after medicine, will be DRUGS!!!! Yup. You got it. Just put 'em in the 7-11 and tax the s--t out of 'em!!!!!

You'll slide into the 7-11 and order, "one gallon of milk, two lottery tickets, one prostitute, one doctor's visit and three lines of cocaine."

And the clerk will ask the inevitable, "Is that for here or to go?"

The possibilities are endless. We can put liquor in the 7-11s. We can even sell cemetary plots in the back of the store. Better still - they can put a crematorium right inside the store. That will certainly heat things up. Heat is the operative word here.

We may as well put the ovens in the stores so we can get used to the heat....because between the hooker, the cocaine, the gambling and the liquor we're all going to hell anyway.